1 00:00:01,292 --> 00:00:03,336 [Music - Jack Jones, "love boat theme"] 2 00:00:10,427 --> 00:00:18,101 (Singing) Love, exciting and new. 3 00:00:18,184 --> 00:00:26,568 Come aboard, we're expecting you. 4 00:00:26,651 --> 00:00:34,743 And love, life's sweetest reward. 5 00:00:34,826 --> 00:00:42,292 Let it flow, it flows back to you. 6 00:00:42,375 --> 00:00:50,884 The love boat, soon we'll be making another run. 7 00:00:50,967 --> 00:00:58,808 The love boat, promises something for everyone. 8 00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:11,154 Set a course for adventure, your mind on a new romance, and love 9 00:01:11,237 --> 00:01:15,116 won't hurt anymore. 10 00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:21,998 It's an open smile on a friendly shore. 11 00:01:22,081 --> 00:01:30,256 It's love welcome aboard, it's love. 12 00:01:38,431 --> 00:01:41,768 [Music playing] 13 00:02:04,207 --> 00:02:05,083 Hello. 14 00:02:05,166 --> 00:02:05,792 Hello. 15 00:02:05,875 --> 00:02:08,127 We are the gerbers of Ohio. 16 00:02:08,211 --> 00:02:09,754 This is our daughter, Gail. 17 00:02:09,838 --> 00:02:10,380 Welcome aboard. 18 00:02:10,463 --> 00:02:11,506 Hi, nice to meet you. 19 00:02:11,589 --> 00:02:14,300 I'm captain stubing and this is my daughter, Vicki. 20 00:02:14,384 --> 00:02:15,301 Hi. 21 00:02:15,385 --> 00:02:16,010 Hello. 22 00:02:16,094 --> 00:02:17,137 Is this your first cruise? 23 00:02:17,220 --> 00:02:18,179 Yeah. 24 00:02:18,263 --> 00:02:19,722 I hope there's stuff for kids to do on this ship. 25 00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:20,807 Oh, there's lots to do. 26 00:02:20,890 --> 00:02:22,392 You'll have a great time. 27 00:02:22,475 --> 00:02:23,852 You think you could show me around? 28 00:02:23,935 --> 00:02:24,769 Well, sure. 29 00:02:24,853 --> 00:02:26,020 Come on, I'll give you the grand tour. 30 00:02:26,104 --> 00:02:26,729 Can we go? 31 00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:27,772 Certainly, dear. 32 00:02:27,856 --> 00:02:28,523 Bye. 33 00:02:28,606 --> 00:02:29,440 Bye bye. 34 00:02:29,524 --> 00:02:30,900 Let's see. 35 00:02:30,984 --> 00:02:32,735 We've got ping-poing and movies, and when we get into port, 36 00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:34,070 we can go ice skating. 37 00:02:34,153 --> 00:02:35,029 Oh, good. 38 00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:35,738 Hi, girls. 39 00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:37,699 Hi, goph. 40 00:02:37,782 --> 00:02:39,242 Who's that? 41 00:02:39,325 --> 00:02:40,326 Oh, that's gopher. 42 00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:41,244 He's the assistant purser. 43 00:02:41,327 --> 00:02:43,538 Here, why don't you read these and i'm 44 00:02:43,621 --> 00:02:47,250 sure you'll find something on board you're interested in. 45 00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:49,210 Yes. 46 00:02:49,294 --> 00:02:50,253 I'm sure I will, too. 47 00:02:50,336 --> 00:02:50,962 Come on. 48 00:02:51,045 --> 00:02:51,921 I want to take you up on deck. 49 00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:53,339 There's some great things to do. 50 00:02:53,423 --> 00:02:55,383 There's a pool and everything. 51 00:03:02,098 --> 00:03:02,724 Hi. 52 00:03:02,807 --> 00:03:04,434 I'm Larry winters. 53 00:03:04,517 --> 00:03:06,603 My wife wouldn't have gotten here before me by any chance, 54 00:03:06,686 --> 00:03:08,563 would she? 55 00:03:08,646 --> 00:03:09,898 No, sir. 56 00:03:09,981 --> 00:03:11,316 She hasn't checked in yet, but you and Mrs. Winters 57 00:03:11,399 --> 00:03:13,359 will be staying in promenade 336. 58 00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:15,528 Your brochure described this as being 59 00:03:15,612 --> 00:03:18,615 the perfect setting for romance, to start a new one 60 00:03:18,698 --> 00:03:19,616 or renew an old one. 61 00:03:19,699 --> 00:03:21,075 And we wouldn't lie about a thing like that. 62 00:03:21,159 --> 00:03:23,161 Well, I guess I'll wait on deck. 63 00:03:23,244 --> 00:03:25,538 And remember, you're here to meet your wife. 64 00:03:25,622 --> 00:03:26,998 Better not start a new one. 65 00:03:27,081 --> 00:03:29,751 Yeah. 66 00:03:29,834 --> 00:03:31,711 Now, this can't possibly be my cabin. 67 00:03:31,794 --> 00:03:33,755 I specifically requested a suite. 68 00:03:33,838 --> 00:03:34,923 Matt, how are you? 69 00:03:35,006 --> 00:03:36,257 It's good to see you again. 70 00:03:36,341 --> 00:03:36,716 Hey, it's great to be back, gopher. 71 00:03:36,799 --> 00:03:37,675 How is the gang? 72 00:03:37,759 --> 00:03:39,802 It's great. 73 00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:41,971 Doc still getting nauseous at the sight of blood? 74 00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:43,264 Only his own. 75 00:03:43,348 --> 00:03:45,725 Always leave me laughing. See you later, goph. 76 00:03:45,808 --> 00:03:46,476 You bet. 77 00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:46,893 Bye bye. 78 00:03:46,976 --> 00:03:49,103 Oh, mom. 79 00:03:49,187 --> 00:03:50,980 I still can't believe we're going on a cruise. 80 00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:52,273 This is so fantastic. 81 00:03:52,357 --> 00:03:53,524 Oh, I know it, honey. 82 00:03:53,608 --> 00:03:55,985 We are going to have such a great time. 83 00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:57,695 It couldn't happen to two nicer people. 84 00:03:57,779 --> 00:03:58,154 Hi. 85 00:03:58,237 --> 00:03:59,864 Welcome aboard. 86 00:03:59,948 --> 00:04:01,115 Hello. 87 00:04:01,199 --> 00:04:02,700 I'm Mrs. Heller and this is my daughter, Beth. 88 00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:04,869 I can't buy that. 89 00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:07,538 Are you sure you kids aren't running away from home? 90 00:04:07,622 --> 00:04:10,833 Now that's what I call a real welcome. 91 00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:11,834 Besides the long run from Colorado, 92 00:04:11,918 --> 00:04:13,753 we're on the aloha deck. 93 00:04:13,836 --> 00:04:15,046 Are we getting warm? 94 00:04:15,129 --> 00:04:17,131 Right through there to the right. 95 00:04:17,215 --> 00:04:18,508 Oh, wait a minute, Mrs. Heller. 96 00:04:18,591 --> 00:04:19,217 I just realized. 97 00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:20,426 I have another welcome for you. 98 00:04:20,510 --> 00:04:22,220 Come here. 99 00:04:22,303 --> 00:04:25,515 Your name is practically in lights. 100 00:04:25,598 --> 00:04:26,224 Matt's terrific. 101 00:04:26,307 --> 00:04:27,767 Have you ever seen him perform? 102 00:04:27,850 --> 00:04:29,477 Only when he was a magician. 103 00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:32,355 He did a disappearing act. 104 00:04:32,438 --> 00:04:33,231 Well, come on. 105 00:04:33,314 --> 00:04:34,691 Let's get settled. 106 00:04:34,774 --> 00:04:37,318 After all these, years he's still ruining things for us. 107 00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:42,907 Hi, I'm mikki Rafferty. 108 00:04:42,991 --> 00:04:45,368 Hello I'm Julie McCoy, your cruise director. 109 00:04:45,451 --> 00:04:46,536 Let's see. 110 00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:49,330 You're on the aloha deck, cabin 236, miss Rafferty. 111 00:04:49,414 --> 00:04:50,581 Ok. 112 00:04:50,665 --> 00:04:53,376 Listen, if you happen to see any cute single guys on here, 113 00:04:53,459 --> 00:04:54,711 just point them out to me, will you? 114 00:04:54,794 --> 00:04:56,045 I'm hoping to start a new one. 115 00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:56,838 Pardon me? 116 00:04:56,921 --> 00:04:58,464 A romance. 117 00:04:58,548 --> 00:04:59,465 Don't you read your own brochure? 118 00:04:59,549 --> 00:05:03,219 Look, start a new one or renew an old one. 119 00:05:03,302 --> 00:05:06,097 My old ones don't stick around long enough to get renewed. 120 00:05:06,180 --> 00:05:08,224 Trouble is I only go for q and d men. 121 00:05:08,307 --> 00:05:11,352 Is that some kind of rare blood type? 122 00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:12,478 No, no. 123 00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:13,604 It's the grading in "Cosmopolitan magazine's" love 124 00:05:13,688 --> 00:05:16,899 quiz I took last month, what's your dating category? 125 00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:19,235 Well, mine's q and d, men of quality and distinction. 126 00:05:19,318 --> 00:05:22,572 You know, professional types, like doctors, 127 00:05:22,655 --> 00:05:24,032 lawyers, presidents. 128 00:05:24,115 --> 00:05:27,535 We have nothing wrong with a girl aiming high. 129 00:05:27,618 --> 00:05:31,581 The trouble is q and d guys generally go for q and d girls, 130 00:05:31,664 --> 00:05:34,167 whereas I'm more f and g. 131 00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:35,668 F and g? 132 00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:36,586 Fun and games. 133 00:05:36,669 --> 00:05:37,920 Oh. 134 00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:40,590 Well, I'll look around. 135 00:05:40,673 --> 00:05:43,092 I'm sure we've got a few q and d bachelors 136 00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:44,844 somewhere on this ship. 137 00:05:44,927 --> 00:05:46,304 Great. 138 00:05:46,387 --> 00:05:49,432 Oh, and if you find two, keep one for yourself, the uglier 139 00:05:49,515 --> 00:05:50,224 one. 140 00:05:52,810 --> 00:05:56,481 [Ship horn] 141 00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:02,403 [Music playing] 142 00:06:26,302 --> 00:06:28,805 Here you go, Mr. Winters. 143 00:06:28,888 --> 00:06:31,057 And if you don't mind me asking, how come you're not renewing 144 00:06:31,140 --> 00:06:35,144 your romance with Mrs. Winters? 145 00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:37,480 She didn't show up, Isaac. 146 00:06:37,563 --> 00:06:38,981 Oh, I'm sorry. 147 00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:41,067 I'm sure she had a good reason. 148 00:06:41,150 --> 00:06:43,152 Dorothy always has good reasons. 149 00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:46,322 She's a lawyer, very successful but very wrapped 150 00:06:46,405 --> 00:06:47,657 up in her career. 151 00:06:47,740 --> 00:06:48,950 I told her I'm going to be on that boat 152 00:06:49,033 --> 00:06:50,993 and if you care anything at all about saving our marriage, 153 00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:54,831 you'll be there, too. 154 00:06:54,914 --> 00:06:56,124 I guess I got my answer. 155 00:06:58,918 --> 00:07:01,504 Hey, mikki, find anybody you're interested in? 156 00:07:01,587 --> 00:07:02,797 Oh, sure did. 157 00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:05,716 He's a stockbroker, an account executive, and a pediatrician. 158 00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:06,175 Great. 159 00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:08,136 Not so great. 160 00:07:08,219 --> 00:07:10,513 The stockbroker's with a blonde, the account executive's 161 00:07:10,596 --> 00:07:13,182 with a redhead, and the pediatrician's in his cabin 162 00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:16,352 with the chicken pox. 163 00:07:16,435 --> 00:07:18,563 Hey, you're pretty good. 164 00:07:18,646 --> 00:07:22,024 Oh, it's just a knack, nothing I really worked hard at. 165 00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:24,193 You know it's funny, whenever I work hard at something, 166 00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:26,112 I usually fail at it. 167 00:07:26,195 --> 00:07:28,573 Well, why don't you try thinking positive? 168 00:07:28,656 --> 00:07:31,075 Maybe then good things will start to happen for you. 169 00:07:31,159 --> 00:07:33,494 Yeah, could be. 170 00:07:33,578 --> 00:07:37,415 Well, I think I'll dive into the pool and see if I get lucky. 171 00:07:37,498 --> 00:07:39,500 You know, I once saved a guy from drowning 172 00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:41,169 and ended up with a great weekend in nantucket. 173 00:07:41,252 --> 00:07:43,379 Too bad he was only six. 174 00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:46,883 See you later. 175 00:07:46,966 --> 00:07:47,675 Ok. 176 00:07:56,392 --> 00:07:57,101 Jenny? 177 00:08:00,688 --> 00:08:02,565 Hello, Matt. 178 00:08:02,648 --> 00:08:05,276 I can't-- I can't believe it. 179 00:08:05,359 --> 00:08:07,653 You look absolutely beautiful. 180 00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:08,779 Let's not get carried away. 181 00:08:08,863 --> 00:08:11,282 Absolutely older, yes, but absolutely beautiful-- 182 00:08:11,365 --> 00:08:12,241 I mean it. 183 00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:13,743 You just look great. 184 00:08:13,826 --> 00:08:15,494 Matt? 185 00:08:15,578 --> 00:08:17,663 Yeah. 186 00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:19,498 This is Beth. 187 00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:23,085 Oh, now I know none of this is happening. 188 00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:25,421 You're all grown up. 189 00:08:25,504 --> 00:08:26,130 Oh, Beth. 190 00:08:26,214 --> 00:08:26,881 Excuse me, mother. 191 00:08:26,964 --> 00:08:28,424 My stomach is acting up a bit. 192 00:08:28,507 --> 00:08:28,633 I'll see you back in the cabin. 193 00:08:33,512 --> 00:08:35,473 After almost 20 years, that's the best she can do. 194 00:08:35,556 --> 00:08:38,684 Well, she's very excited about this trip. 195 00:08:38,768 --> 00:08:40,937 She gets a little bit high-strung sometimes. 196 00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:42,396 That's her nature. 197 00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:43,689 Her nature? 198 00:08:43,773 --> 00:08:46,275 And being rude part of her nature, too? 199 00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:47,985 Give her some time. 200 00:08:48,069 --> 00:08:51,447 This has been quite a surprise for both of us. 201 00:08:58,704 --> 00:09:00,206 This is a great ship. 202 00:09:00,289 --> 00:09:01,040 I love it. 203 00:09:01,123 --> 00:09:02,291 Well if you'd like, later on we 204 00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:03,584 can go swimming or something. 205 00:09:03,668 --> 00:09:04,585 Good. 206 00:09:04,669 --> 00:09:06,003 Over there is where they play shuffleboard. 207 00:09:06,087 --> 00:09:08,798 And that's where-- 208 00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:10,091 hey, look, Vicki. 209 00:09:10,174 --> 00:09:11,926 There's your friend, Mr. Gopher. 210 00:09:12,009 --> 00:09:13,803 Oh, gopher's just his nickname. 211 00:09:13,886 --> 00:09:17,348 His real name is burrell Smith. 212 00:09:17,431 --> 00:09:19,725 Burrell Smith. 213 00:09:19,809 --> 00:09:21,811 Would you like me to introduce you? 214 00:09:21,894 --> 00:09:22,270 Well yeah, sure. 215 00:09:22,353 --> 00:09:24,438 Great, come on. 216 00:09:34,115 --> 00:09:34,824 Hey, goph. 217 00:09:34,907 --> 00:09:35,783 Yeah? 218 00:09:35,866 --> 00:09:36,784 You want to be my new friend? 219 00:09:36,867 --> 00:09:37,076 Sure. 220 00:09:37,159 --> 00:09:37,827 Hi. 221 00:09:37,910 --> 00:09:39,495 Hi. 222 00:09:39,578 --> 00:09:41,455 I'm Gail gerber. - Hi, Gail. 223 00:09:41,539 --> 00:09:42,915 Do you want to play a game of shuffleboard? 224 00:09:42,999 --> 00:09:45,501 Oh, no thanks. 225 00:09:45,584 --> 00:09:46,836 No, you kids go ahead and play. 226 00:09:46,919 --> 00:09:50,840 I'm looking for a dinner date. 227 00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:52,466 I don't have any dinner plans. 228 00:09:52,550 --> 00:09:53,801 Well, aren't you eating with your parents? 229 00:09:53,884 --> 00:09:55,511 Who? 230 00:09:55,594 --> 00:09:56,846 Oh, them. 231 00:09:56,929 --> 00:09:59,181 I'm sure they wouldn't mind if I had dinner with someone else. 232 00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:00,683 Well, great. 233 00:10:00,766 --> 00:10:02,059 Then you can have dinner with me and sit at the captain's table. 234 00:10:02,143 --> 00:10:06,188 Excuse me. 235 00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:08,983 I don't know what he sees in her. 236 00:10:09,066 --> 00:10:13,696 Well, gopher goes for that glamorous, sophisticated type. 237 00:10:13,779 --> 00:10:16,907 Huh, really? 238 00:10:16,991 --> 00:10:18,701 Yeah, until 3:30. 239 00:10:18,784 --> 00:10:20,286 Then he goes for anything. 240 00:10:35,718 --> 00:10:36,344 Hey. 241 00:10:36,427 --> 00:10:37,178 Hey, that's mine. 242 00:10:42,141 --> 00:10:43,684 It's not a very good likeness, is it? 243 00:10:43,768 --> 00:10:48,397 Tell me, do I look as lost as all that? 244 00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:51,734 Yeah, but you're cuter. 245 00:10:51,817 --> 00:10:52,485 My name's mikki Rafferty. 246 00:10:52,568 --> 00:10:56,489 That's mikki, spelled m-i-k-k-i. 247 00:10:56,572 --> 00:10:57,656 Very original. 248 00:10:57,740 --> 00:10:57,990 Larry winters. 249 00:10:58,074 --> 00:11:00,910 Oh. 250 00:11:00,993 --> 00:11:01,327 You an artist? 251 00:11:01,410 --> 00:11:03,204 No, no, no. 252 00:11:03,287 --> 00:11:07,166 I'm a dancer, featured weekly on the unemployment line. 253 00:11:07,249 --> 00:11:08,918 What do you do? 254 00:11:09,001 --> 00:11:09,752 Are you a doctor or something? 255 00:11:09,835 --> 00:11:11,670 How about a corporation lawyer. 256 00:11:11,754 --> 00:11:12,797 Is that something? 257 00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:15,216 Yeah, it sure is. 258 00:11:15,299 --> 00:11:18,094 You wouldn't happen to be alone, would you? 259 00:11:18,177 --> 00:11:20,012 No. 260 00:11:20,096 --> 00:11:21,222 Figures. 261 00:11:21,305 --> 00:11:23,182 How can I be alone if I'm with you? 262 00:11:39,824 --> 00:11:43,911 Honey, you better get dressed or we'll be late for dinner. 263 00:11:43,994 --> 00:11:46,789 Daddy, I'm not really hungry. 264 00:11:46,872 --> 00:11:49,458 I just want to sleep. 265 00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:51,627 Are you feeling ok, Princess? 266 00:11:51,710 --> 00:11:52,336 Fine. 267 00:11:52,420 --> 00:11:53,587 I'm just tired. 268 00:11:53,671 --> 00:11:57,591 Vicki and I, we played ping-pong and shuffleboard and went 269 00:11:57,675 --> 00:11:58,634 swimming. 270 00:11:58,717 --> 00:12:00,761 I guess you have put in a pretty full day. 271 00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:03,347 Besides, Vicki wants to get an early start tomorrow. 272 00:12:03,431 --> 00:12:05,683 She has lots of really neat things planned. 273 00:12:05,766 --> 00:12:06,809 Ok, sweetheart. 274 00:12:06,892 --> 00:12:11,647 Well, order some food if you want and get some rest. 275 00:12:11,730 --> 00:12:12,314 Nighty night, daddy. 276 00:12:12,398 --> 00:12:14,859 Nighty night. 277 00:12:14,942 --> 00:12:16,819 Don't let the bed bugs bite. 278 00:12:54,106 --> 00:12:56,817 [Music playing] 279 00:12:59,945 --> 00:13:02,364 I don't see how you could sit and talk with him. 280 00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:05,826 What am I supposed to do? 281 00:13:05,910 --> 00:13:07,119 I can't be like you. 282 00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:09,205 You were very rude, Beth. 283 00:13:09,288 --> 00:13:10,498 Rude? 284 00:13:10,581 --> 00:13:12,458 Mother, he walked out on us. 285 00:13:12,541 --> 00:13:14,668 He deserted his wife and child. 286 00:13:14,752 --> 00:13:17,213 That was a long time ago, Beth. 287 00:13:17,296 --> 00:13:19,381 Matt and I were very young, and things 288 00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:23,135 happened so fast that we just couldn't seem to handle it all. 289 00:13:23,219 --> 00:13:26,013 So he handled it by running away. 290 00:13:26,096 --> 00:13:30,351 You know, I don't remember ever saying the word "daddy." 291 00:13:30,434 --> 00:13:31,393 Oh, sweetheart, please. 292 00:13:31,477 --> 00:13:34,230 Don't do this to yourself. 293 00:13:34,313 --> 00:13:35,940 It's over. 294 00:13:36,023 --> 00:13:39,026 We can't change the past. 295 00:13:39,109 --> 00:13:41,028 I know you'd like me to sit back 296 00:13:41,111 --> 00:13:46,075 and act as if it never happened, but I can't do that mother. 297 00:13:46,158 --> 00:13:50,371 Then at least act a little less hostile for me, please. 298 00:13:50,454 --> 00:13:52,039 All right, I'll try. 299 00:14:22,194 --> 00:14:23,279 Good evening. 300 00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:25,155 Where have you been hiding? 301 00:14:25,239 --> 00:14:26,949 Could I have a table for one, please? 302 00:14:27,032 --> 00:14:29,702 For one? 303 00:14:29,785 --> 00:14:31,412 You'll never believe this, but it 304 00:14:31,495 --> 00:14:32,955 appears I, too, am without a dinner 305 00:14:33,038 --> 00:14:34,957 companion for this evening. 306 00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:36,083 Would you care to join me? 307 00:14:36,166 --> 00:14:37,835 Aren't you sweet. 308 00:14:37,918 --> 00:14:38,794 That would divine. 309 00:14:38,877 --> 00:14:40,045 Not at all. 310 00:14:40,129 --> 00:14:41,797 This way. 311 00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:44,133 Fine. 312 00:14:44,216 --> 00:14:51,098 Actually, I'd like something a little more intimate. 313 00:14:51,181 --> 00:14:52,224 Intimate? 314 00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:54,476 More romantic. 315 00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:57,396 Mhm. 316 00:14:57,479 --> 00:15:01,275 I think I see just the spot right over there. 317 00:15:01,358 --> 00:15:01,984 Perfect, darling. 318 00:15:04,028 --> 00:15:07,823 You don't mind if I call you darling, do you? 319 00:15:07,906 --> 00:15:08,532 No, I don't. 320 00:15:08,616 --> 00:15:09,491 I don't mind that at all. 321 00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:11,994 Darling is one of my favorite movies. 322 00:15:12,077 --> 00:15:12,453 And yours is? 323 00:15:12,536 --> 00:15:15,247 Uh, Lillian. 324 00:15:15,331 --> 00:15:16,206 Lillian? 325 00:15:16,290 --> 00:15:17,791 Lillian gerber. 326 00:15:17,875 --> 00:15:19,001 Gerber. 327 00:15:19,084 --> 00:15:19,710 Gerber. 328 00:15:19,793 --> 00:15:23,255 Now why do I know that name? 329 00:15:23,339 --> 00:15:26,383 Well, you probably met my kid sister, Gail. 330 00:15:26,467 --> 00:15:28,385 That little brat is always getting into someone's hair. 331 00:15:28,469 --> 00:15:30,304 Vicki's friend. 332 00:15:30,387 --> 00:15:31,639 Yes. 333 00:15:31,722 --> 00:15:33,557 I should have noticed by the family resemblance. 334 00:15:33,641 --> 00:15:36,143 Oh, really? 335 00:15:36,226 --> 00:15:39,271 I don't think we look alike at all. 336 00:15:39,355 --> 00:15:40,064 [Laughs] 337 00:15:41,523 --> 00:15:44,151 I was out of [inaudible] before my teabag had dried. 338 00:15:48,614 --> 00:15:50,199 Would you excuse me? 339 00:15:50,282 --> 00:15:50,991 Sure. 340 00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:59,792 Order the trout, so fresh you have to slap it. 341 00:15:59,875 --> 00:16:00,542 Hi. 342 00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:01,877 Hi. 343 00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:02,711 When I heard all the laughter, I should have known 344 00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:05,381 that you would be close by. 345 00:16:05,464 --> 00:16:08,217 Feeling any better, Beth? 346 00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:11,762 You must know somebody to be sitting at the captain's table. 347 00:16:11,845 --> 00:16:15,724 What's bothering you, Beth. 348 00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:16,517 Well, she's just-- 349 00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:17,935 she's just what? 350 00:16:18,018 --> 00:16:18,727 Come on, Beth. 351 00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:20,646 What is it? 352 00:16:20,729 --> 00:16:22,856 Why don't you just go away. 353 00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:27,486 Leaving people was always your style. 354 00:16:27,569 --> 00:16:28,195 I'm sorry, mom. 355 00:16:50,676 --> 00:16:52,553 You are a very good dancer. 356 00:16:52,636 --> 00:16:53,887 You think so? 357 00:16:53,971 --> 00:16:56,306 I've been turned down for eight road 358 00:16:56,390 --> 00:16:58,100 companies of a chorus line. 359 00:16:58,183 --> 00:16:59,810 The one that really hurt was "Chicago." 360 00:16:59,893 --> 00:17:02,521 The choreographer was my brother. 361 00:17:02,604 --> 00:17:04,440 What other talents do you have that I don't know about? 362 00:17:04,523 --> 00:17:06,567 Well, let's see. 363 00:17:06,650 --> 00:17:09,445 I've been a shoe shine girl and delivered pizzas 364 00:17:09,528 --> 00:17:11,363 and I was a towel ringer at a car wash. 365 00:17:11,447 --> 00:17:13,449 Have I scared you off yet? 366 00:17:13,532 --> 00:17:14,032 Far from it. 367 00:17:14,116 --> 00:17:14,491 Well, you give me time. 368 00:17:14,575 --> 00:17:15,242 I'll get there. 369 00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:24,793 A beautiful girl like you must have a lot of dates. 370 00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:26,545 No, no, not really. 371 00:17:26,628 --> 00:17:30,174 I mean, most the men I know are really very mature. 372 00:17:30,257 --> 00:17:31,675 That's a phase I never went through. 373 00:17:34,636 --> 00:17:36,555 [Applause] 374 00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:43,979 Here we are. 375 00:17:44,062 --> 00:17:44,980 Thank you. 376 00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:49,401 Hi, gopher. 377 00:17:49,485 --> 00:17:50,694 Vicki. 378 00:17:50,778 --> 00:17:52,446 Vicki, have you met Gail's sister, Lillian? 379 00:17:52,529 --> 00:17:53,614 No, hi. 380 00:17:53,697 --> 00:17:54,990 Gail didn't tell me she had a sister. 381 00:17:55,073 --> 00:17:57,409 She's at that age of denial, darling. 382 00:17:57,493 --> 00:17:59,787 Why don't I get us some drinks. 383 00:17:59,870 --> 00:18:02,372 Where is Gail, anyway? 384 00:18:02,456 --> 00:18:04,416 She was supposed to meet me for dinner. 385 00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:05,667 She went to sleep early tonight. 386 00:18:05,751 --> 00:18:09,588 But I knocked on the cabin door and there was no answer. 387 00:18:09,671 --> 00:18:10,547 Oh well, there's your parents. 388 00:18:10,631 --> 00:18:11,632 Why don't I go ask them. 389 00:18:11,715 --> 00:18:13,342 No, no, no. 390 00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:15,511 Don't do that. 391 00:18:15,594 --> 00:18:18,639 You know, Vicki, Gail may have slipped out for a little while 392 00:18:18,722 --> 00:18:20,349 to have some fun. 393 00:18:20,432 --> 00:18:24,311 If she did, we wouldn't want to get her in any trouble now, 394 00:18:24,394 --> 00:18:25,562 would we? 395 00:18:25,646 --> 00:18:26,480 I guess not. 396 00:18:26,563 --> 00:18:28,190 Oh, well. 397 00:18:28,273 --> 00:18:29,191 It was nice to meet you. 398 00:18:29,274 --> 00:18:30,526 Excuse me. 399 00:18:30,609 --> 00:18:32,694 Lillian, this is one of Isaac's 400 00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:35,197 special pacific love potions. 401 00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:35,906 Gopher. 402 00:18:35,989 --> 00:18:36,824 Mhm? 403 00:18:36,907 --> 00:18:39,701 It's so hot in here. 404 00:18:39,785 --> 00:18:42,704 Do you think maybe we could step outside and get 405 00:18:42,788 --> 00:18:44,414 some fresh air, the moonlight? 406 00:18:44,498 --> 00:18:45,207 Sure. 407 00:18:51,129 --> 00:18:51,797 Incredible. 408 00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:53,757 These things must work on fumes. 409 00:19:02,933 --> 00:19:06,562 Jenny, what is it about me that 410 00:19:06,645 --> 00:19:07,396 makes Beth hate me so much? 411 00:19:07,479 --> 00:19:10,148 Oh, it's just the chemistry, Matt. 412 00:19:10,232 --> 00:19:13,277 It can be that way between some people. 413 00:19:13,360 --> 00:19:14,611 No, Jenny. 414 00:19:14,695 --> 00:19:16,655 We're not test tubes or experiments. 415 00:19:16,738 --> 00:19:18,156 We're just people. 416 00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:20,659 There's got to be more to it than that. 417 00:19:23,662 --> 00:19:26,874 Does Beth know? 418 00:19:26,957 --> 00:19:28,333 I mean, does she know everything? 419 00:19:31,545 --> 00:19:32,379 Don't tell me you've never told her. 420 00:19:36,091 --> 00:19:37,676 Oh my god, Jenny. 421 00:19:37,759 --> 00:19:38,135 Why? 422 00:19:38,218 --> 00:19:40,846 I don't know. 423 00:19:40,929 --> 00:19:43,765 I was always waiting for her to be older, 424 00:19:43,849 --> 00:19:47,728 and then when she was older we had become so close. 425 00:19:47,811 --> 00:19:49,229 I didn't want to risk losing that. 426 00:19:49,313 --> 00:19:51,732 You know we're going to have to tell her. 427 00:19:51,815 --> 00:19:53,233 No, Matt. 428 00:19:53,317 --> 00:19:56,278 After the cruise, Beth and I will go back home 429 00:19:56,361 --> 00:19:57,613 and that will be the end of it. 430 00:19:57,696 --> 00:19:58,739 The end of it? 431 00:19:58,822 --> 00:20:01,033 Well, what about me? 432 00:20:01,116 --> 00:20:02,701 I'm supposed to just go through life 433 00:20:02,784 --> 00:20:03,911 knowing that Beth hates me? 434 00:20:06,705 --> 00:20:09,207 I don't think I can handle that. 435 00:20:09,291 --> 00:20:11,001 Promise me, Matt, please. 436 00:20:11,084 --> 00:20:12,878 Promise me that you won't tell her. 437 00:20:21,219 --> 00:20:24,806 You know, Lillian, you have the qualities 438 00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:27,059 that I admire most in a woman. 439 00:20:27,142 --> 00:20:28,769 Me? 440 00:20:28,852 --> 00:20:34,399 You're beautiful, intelligent, and you're fun to be with. 441 00:20:34,483 --> 00:20:35,359 I guess we have a lot in common. 442 00:20:38,737 --> 00:20:41,573 What time is it? 443 00:20:41,657 --> 00:20:43,158 It's early, I'm sure. 444 00:20:43,241 --> 00:20:43,909 Look. 445 00:20:43,992 --> 00:20:45,369 Oh, it's just about midnight. 446 00:20:50,082 --> 00:20:51,208 Well, I better go. 447 00:20:51,291 --> 00:20:53,168 It's past my bedtime. 448 00:20:53,251 --> 00:20:56,296 I mean, I need my beauty sleep. 449 00:20:56,380 --> 00:20:57,297 Good night. 450 00:20:57,381 --> 00:20:59,091 Yeah, but Lillian, actually, see my watch 451 00:20:59,174 --> 00:20:59,466 is about two minutes fast. 452 00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:03,845 Good night. 453 00:21:11,853 --> 00:21:12,646 Hi, guys. 454 00:21:12,729 --> 00:21:14,356 Hey, goph. 455 00:21:14,439 --> 00:21:15,357 Hey, gopher. 456 00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:19,528 Hey gopher, what happened to your date? 457 00:21:19,611 --> 00:21:21,905 Well, what didn't happen? 458 00:21:21,989 --> 00:21:23,740 Incredible night. 459 00:21:23,824 --> 00:21:24,199 Really? 460 00:21:24,282 --> 00:21:26,368 Let's have it. 461 00:21:26,451 --> 00:21:27,119 Details, details. 462 00:21:27,202 --> 00:21:28,286 Guys, wait a minute. 463 00:21:28,370 --> 00:21:30,664 I am not the kind of gentleman that kisses and tells. 464 00:21:30,747 --> 00:21:31,748 Kissing. 465 00:21:31,832 --> 00:21:34,084 You put the old liplock on her, huh? 466 00:21:34,167 --> 00:21:35,544 Hey, you devil you. What else? 467 00:21:35,627 --> 00:21:36,712 What else? - Guys, please. 468 00:21:36,795 --> 00:21:37,713 I am a doer, not a talker. 469 00:21:37,796 --> 00:21:41,717 And besides, it's not fair to the ladies. 470 00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:44,052 And want a lady that Lillian is, man. 471 00:21:44,136 --> 00:21:45,220 Oh, come on, gopher. 472 00:21:45,303 --> 00:21:46,847 Can't you tell us anything? 473 00:21:46,930 --> 00:21:48,015 Well, there's nothing to tell. 474 00:21:48,098 --> 00:21:50,559 I walked her back to the cabin and said good night. 475 00:21:50,642 --> 00:21:51,018 That's all. 476 00:21:51,101 --> 00:21:52,310 That's all? 477 00:21:52,394 --> 00:21:55,647 And I stayed for a nightcap or two. 478 00:21:55,731 --> 00:21:57,899 Hi, guys. 479 00:21:57,983 --> 00:21:59,109 Hi. 480 00:21:59,192 --> 00:22:01,570 Hey, gopher, what's the matter with Lillian? 481 00:22:01,653 --> 00:22:04,156 I just saw her running back to her cabin a few minutes ago. 482 00:22:04,239 --> 00:22:06,366 Is anything wrong? 483 00:22:06,450 --> 00:22:11,329 I thought you said you walked her back to her cabin. 484 00:22:11,413 --> 00:22:13,540 Well, we weren't walking, we were running. 485 00:22:13,623 --> 00:22:15,876 Couldn't wait to get me back here. 486 00:22:15,959 --> 00:22:18,462 Gopher, I didn't see you with her. 487 00:22:18,545 --> 00:22:23,717 Well, I was running so fast you probably couldn't see me. 488 00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:26,762 You struck out, didn't you, gopher? 489 00:22:26,845 --> 00:22:27,846 [Bell ringing] 490 00:22:28,513 --> 00:22:32,350 Doc, what am I doing wrong? 491 00:22:36,521 --> 00:22:36,563 [Door opening] 492 00:22:48,158 --> 00:22:50,535 Look at the poor darling. 493 00:22:50,619 --> 00:22:54,331 She must have been just exhausted. 494 00:22:54,414 --> 00:22:55,457 You know, Joan. 495 00:22:55,540 --> 00:22:57,584 When you think of those kids who get their parents 496 00:22:57,667 --> 00:23:01,797 in a lot of trouble, we sure are lucky to have 497 00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:03,715 an angel like Gail. 498 00:23:11,223 --> 00:23:12,140 [Door closing] 499 00:23:15,352 --> 00:23:16,061 [Sigh] 500 00:23:23,902 --> 00:23:25,487 [Music playing] 501 00:23:28,865 --> 00:23:29,491 Come on. 502 00:23:29,574 --> 00:23:30,951 Let's go get some breakfast. 503 00:23:31,034 --> 00:23:31,910 Go ahead. 504 00:23:31,993 --> 00:23:33,495 I want to finish this letter. 505 00:23:33,578 --> 00:23:35,497 Looks like a long one. 506 00:23:35,580 --> 00:23:36,832 I have a lot to say. 507 00:23:36,915 --> 00:23:41,169 It's to your friend, Matt, the kind of letter 508 00:23:41,253 --> 00:23:44,881 you should have received long ago. 509 00:23:44,965 --> 00:23:48,760 Beth, is it so important to you to hurt him? 510 00:23:48,844 --> 00:23:50,345 If it will make you feel any better, 511 00:23:50,428 --> 00:23:53,098 you've accomplished that little feat very well. 512 00:23:53,181 --> 00:23:55,350 Did he say something to you? 513 00:23:55,433 --> 00:23:57,686 He didn't have to say anything. 514 00:23:57,769 --> 00:23:59,771 You don't see a person bleed you know they're wounded. 515 00:24:03,608 --> 00:24:09,990 Beth, sometimes we do things that we think 516 00:24:10,073 --> 00:24:14,661 are right at the time, and years later, we realize 517 00:24:14,744 --> 00:24:17,539 we made a terrible mistake. 518 00:24:17,622 --> 00:24:18,540 Don't worry, mother. 519 00:24:18,623 --> 00:24:21,376 I'll never be sorry I wrote this letter. 520 00:24:21,459 --> 00:24:23,003 That's not what I meant, Beth. 521 00:24:23,086 --> 00:24:23,879 I can't help it, mom. 522 00:24:23,962 --> 00:24:25,755 I just can't. 523 00:24:25,839 --> 00:24:29,968 I hate myself for hating him so much. 524 00:24:30,051 --> 00:24:31,511 I know. 525 00:24:31,595 --> 00:24:33,555 We all hate ourselves sometimes. 526 00:24:39,227 --> 00:24:39,978 Mikki. 527 00:24:40,061 --> 00:24:40,395 Hi. 528 00:24:40,478 --> 00:24:41,980 Hi, Julie. 529 00:24:42,063 --> 00:24:43,732 Mikki, I'd like you to meet a very good friend 530 00:24:43,815 --> 00:24:45,066 of mine, Dr. Adam bricker. 531 00:24:45,150 --> 00:24:46,860 How do you do? 532 00:24:46,943 --> 00:24:47,944 Definitely q and b. 533 00:24:48,028 --> 00:24:48,695 Well, hello. 534 00:24:48,778 --> 00:24:50,864 Quality and distinction, huh? 535 00:24:50,947 --> 00:24:53,408 No, quick and dangerous. 536 00:24:53,491 --> 00:24:54,159 Don't believe a word it, mikki. 537 00:24:54,242 --> 00:24:55,327 I'm really harmless. 538 00:24:55,410 --> 00:24:58,496 And knowing that, I'm going to acapulco 539 00:24:58,580 --> 00:24:59,581 later, if you care to join me. 540 00:24:59,664 --> 00:25:03,001 Oh, well thank you, doctor, and you too, Julie. 541 00:25:03,084 --> 00:25:06,630 But I'm sort of hoping for another invitation right now. 542 00:25:06,713 --> 00:25:08,215 But I tell you what, when I don't get it, 543 00:25:08,298 --> 00:25:10,759 I'll come looking for you, ok? 544 00:25:10,842 --> 00:25:13,220 It's not even 9:00 and I've had my first rejection. 545 00:25:13,303 --> 00:25:13,929 [Laughs] 546 00:25:14,012 --> 00:25:14,346 See you later. 547 00:25:14,429 --> 00:25:14,804 Ok, bye. 548 00:25:14,888 --> 00:25:15,597 Bye. 549 00:25:22,020 --> 00:25:24,064 Ok, Pete, now we finished the drunk at the lifeboat 550 00:25:24,147 --> 00:25:25,315 drill routine, right? 551 00:25:25,398 --> 00:25:27,275 Then you give me a da, da, da, da. 552 00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:29,653 Go right into "if you knew susie like I knew susie." 553 00:25:29,736 --> 00:25:30,362 Ok? 554 00:25:30,445 --> 00:25:32,072 [Piano playing] 555 00:25:32,155 --> 00:25:32,989 (Singing) If-- [Applause] 556 00:25:33,073 --> 00:25:33,740 Bravo. 557 00:25:33,823 --> 00:25:34,741 Great. 558 00:25:34,824 --> 00:25:36,701 Fantastic. 559 00:25:36,785 --> 00:25:38,536 Listen, we don't want you singing too loud because we 560 00:25:38,620 --> 00:25:40,247 don't to disturb the drinkers. 561 00:25:40,330 --> 00:25:42,457 Matt, I don't normally make personal mail deliveries, 562 00:25:42,540 --> 00:25:45,252 but this one had the scent of warm, tropical 563 00:25:45,335 --> 00:25:47,212 nights and grass-skirted women. 564 00:25:47,295 --> 00:25:47,963 Ah. 565 00:25:48,046 --> 00:25:49,089 Recently mowed. 566 00:25:49,172 --> 00:25:51,007 My, I haven't received a fan letter 567 00:25:51,091 --> 00:25:54,219 since I ran out of stamps. 568 00:25:54,302 --> 00:25:55,887 I hope he does the one about the aardvark 569 00:25:55,971 --> 00:25:56,972 and the [inaudible] 570 00:25:57,055 --> 00:25:58,306 Oh yeah, you do that tonight, they'll love you. 571 00:25:58,390 --> 00:25:59,641 Yeah, yeah. 572 00:25:59,724 --> 00:26:02,310 Here's a fan who couldn't wait till tonight to tell 573 00:26:02,394 --> 00:26:04,980 me how much she loved me. 574 00:26:05,063 --> 00:26:05,772 See you guys. 575 00:26:05,855 --> 00:26:06,564 Yeah. 576 00:26:18,368 --> 00:26:19,202 Captain? 577 00:26:19,286 --> 00:26:20,078 Matt, come in. 578 00:26:20,161 --> 00:26:20,495 Come in. 579 00:26:20,578 --> 00:26:23,957 Thank you. 580 00:26:24,040 --> 00:26:26,501 Merrill, I need a big favor. 581 00:26:26,584 --> 00:26:27,919 No, you can't have the ship tonight. 582 00:26:28,003 --> 00:26:29,087 I'm using it. 583 00:26:29,170 --> 00:26:31,923 For once, i'm serious, very serious. 584 00:26:32,007 --> 00:26:33,550 Huh? 585 00:26:33,633 --> 00:26:34,843 What is it? 586 00:26:34,926 --> 00:26:38,430 Well, I have two friends that I must get to the show tonight. 587 00:26:38,513 --> 00:26:39,848 It's very important to me. 588 00:26:39,931 --> 00:26:40,724 I don't understand, Matt. 589 00:26:40,807 --> 00:26:42,434 Anyone can come to the show. 590 00:26:42,517 --> 00:26:45,186 I don't think they'd come, unless, perhaps, 591 00:26:45,270 --> 00:26:48,231 you were to personally invite them as your guests. 592 00:26:48,315 --> 00:26:50,108 Are you talking about the two women in the dining room 593 00:26:50,191 --> 00:26:50,942 the other night? 594 00:26:51,026 --> 00:26:52,027 Yeah. 595 00:26:52,110 --> 00:26:53,945 Let's just say it's a family matter. 596 00:26:54,029 --> 00:26:55,405 That's good enough for me. 597 00:26:55,488 --> 00:26:56,197 Don't worry about it. 598 00:26:56,281 --> 00:26:57,324 I'll have them there. 599 00:26:57,407 --> 00:26:58,033 I promise you. 600 00:26:58,116 --> 00:26:59,284 Thanks, merrill. 601 00:26:59,367 --> 00:27:00,702 I really owe you on this one. 602 00:27:00,785 --> 00:27:03,079 The only thing you owe me is a good show tonight. 603 00:27:03,163 --> 00:27:09,002 Could be the best one of my life or the worst. 604 00:27:12,756 --> 00:27:14,049 - Hi, Gail. - Hi. 605 00:27:14,132 --> 00:27:15,383 You want to have breakfast together? 606 00:27:15,467 --> 00:27:16,009 Oh, mommy, daddy, can I, please? 607 00:27:16,092 --> 00:27:17,010 Please? 608 00:27:17,093 --> 00:27:18,762 Of course. 609 00:27:18,845 --> 00:27:19,679 Sure. 610 00:27:19,763 --> 00:27:21,556 You kids run along and have fun now. 611 00:27:21,639 --> 00:27:23,475 Come on. 612 00:27:23,558 --> 00:27:25,435 So what happened last night? 613 00:27:25,518 --> 00:27:26,478 Well, what do you mean? 614 00:27:26,561 --> 00:27:27,854 Well, first you didn't come to dinner, 615 00:27:27,937 --> 00:27:29,898 and then your sister told me you were sleeping. 616 00:27:29,981 --> 00:27:31,900 Well, I was. 617 00:27:31,983 --> 00:27:34,694 But I went to your cabin and knocked and knocked. 618 00:27:34,778 --> 00:27:35,904 You never answered. 619 00:27:35,987 --> 00:27:38,865 Oh, well I slept in mommy and daddy's cabin last night. 620 00:27:38,948 --> 00:27:41,076 I get afraid of the dark sometimes. 621 00:27:41,159 --> 00:27:43,244 Boy, you are a baby. 622 00:27:43,328 --> 00:27:45,789 - Hi, kids. - Hi. 623 00:27:45,872 --> 00:27:46,456 Hi. 624 00:27:46,539 --> 00:27:47,582 Where's your sister? 625 00:27:47,665 --> 00:27:49,876 Oh, she never gets up till dark. 626 00:27:49,959 --> 00:27:52,670 She says the sun is bad for her skin. 627 00:27:52,754 --> 00:27:53,588 I can't argue with the results. 628 00:27:53,671 --> 00:27:57,050 Besides, she was out late last night. 629 00:27:57,133 --> 00:27:59,386 She said she met Mr. wonderful and fell in love. 630 00:27:59,469 --> 00:28:01,888 She wouldn't tell me who he was. 631 00:28:01,971 --> 00:28:03,098 Did you hear that, Mr. Wonderful. 632 00:28:03,181 --> 00:28:04,849 I heard. 633 00:28:04,933 --> 00:28:06,768 I heard. 634 00:28:06,851 --> 00:28:12,190 So Gail, what kind of stuff does your sister like? 635 00:28:12,273 --> 00:28:13,942 Well, you know, the usual things. 636 00:28:14,025 --> 00:28:21,741 Fashion magazines, comic books, expensive perfume, bubblegum. 637 00:28:21,825 --> 00:28:23,910 As a matter of fact, if I give her bubble gum, 638 00:28:23,993 --> 00:28:26,454 I can get her to do anything I want. 639 00:28:26,538 --> 00:28:27,372 Oh really? 640 00:28:27,455 --> 00:28:29,874 I hope you guys will excuse me. 641 00:28:29,958 --> 00:28:31,376 I can hear bazooka Joe calling. 642 00:28:37,257 --> 00:28:37,924 Hey, you. 643 00:28:38,007 --> 00:28:40,051 How come the disappearing act? 644 00:28:40,135 --> 00:28:43,513 Oh with some great looking unattached ladies on board, 645 00:28:43,596 --> 00:28:46,057 I figured you might want to give one of them a break. 646 00:28:46,141 --> 00:28:48,810 I'm not interested in any other ladies in this group. 647 00:28:48,893 --> 00:28:51,646 I happen to find you bright, talented, 648 00:28:51,729 --> 00:28:54,816 totally unpredictable, and thoroughly delightful. 649 00:28:54,899 --> 00:28:56,860 Now, you know you don't have to say that to get 650 00:28:56,943 --> 00:28:58,194 me back to your cabin. 651 00:28:58,278 --> 00:29:00,947 All you have to do is ask. 652 00:29:01,030 --> 00:29:05,869 How would you like to spend a very romantic day in acapulco 653 00:29:05,952 --> 00:29:07,704 with a handsome escort? 654 00:29:07,787 --> 00:29:08,872 I'd love to. 655 00:29:08,955 --> 00:29:09,706 Who's the guy? 656 00:29:13,585 --> 00:29:16,504 [Music playing] 657 00:29:21,509 --> 00:29:23,428 Pa: Welcome to acapulco, ladies and gentlemen. 658 00:29:23,511 --> 00:29:25,680 I'm sorry about the weather. 659 00:29:25,763 --> 00:29:28,641 I hear there's one low cloud in the sky. 660 00:29:28,725 --> 00:29:30,185 Just a touch of "Princess" humor there. 661 00:29:30,268 --> 00:29:31,352 Enjoy your day on the Mexican riviera. 662 00:29:31,436 --> 00:29:34,105 We sail at 9:00. 663 00:29:39,319 --> 00:29:41,738 Mr. Winters? 664 00:29:41,821 --> 00:29:42,572 Oh, Mr. Winters. 665 00:29:42,655 --> 00:29:43,740 I'm glad I caught you. 666 00:29:43,823 --> 00:29:44,449 This cablegram just came through. 667 00:29:44,532 --> 00:29:46,326 Oh, thank you very much. 668 00:29:52,123 --> 00:29:52,457 Hey, down there. 669 00:29:52,540 --> 00:29:54,959 Turn around. 670 00:29:55,043 --> 00:30:00,048 The "Cosmopolitan magazine" says when using a staircase, 671 00:30:00,131 --> 00:30:02,717 descend it slowly, like a vision of loveliness. 672 00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:05,011 How am I doing? 673 00:30:05,094 --> 00:30:06,554 You are exactly that. 674 00:30:06,638 --> 00:30:08,223 Ok, just one thing. 675 00:30:08,306 --> 00:30:09,474 Tell me when I reach the bottom. 676 00:30:11,976 --> 00:30:15,063 I don't know what's a good way to tell you this, mikki. 677 00:30:15,146 --> 00:30:18,900 Uh-oh, when it starts like that, there is no good way. 678 00:30:18,983 --> 00:30:20,443 Ok, give it to me straight. 679 00:30:20,527 --> 00:30:22,237 I'm not going to be able to go into town with you. 680 00:30:22,320 --> 00:30:25,240 I'm taking a cab directly to the airport. 681 00:30:25,323 --> 00:30:25,698 Why? 682 00:30:25,782 --> 00:30:28,034 What happened? 683 00:30:28,117 --> 00:30:31,621 You see, I'm married. 684 00:30:36,417 --> 00:30:39,921 That's straight, right between the eyeballs. 685 00:30:40,004 --> 00:30:41,047 I owe you an explanation. 686 00:30:41,130 --> 00:30:41,714 Oh, hey. 687 00:30:41,798 --> 00:30:42,799 You don't owe me anything. 688 00:30:42,882 --> 00:30:44,425 Don't worry about it. 689 00:30:44,509 --> 00:30:46,427 Look, I took this cruise looking for a shipboard romance 690 00:30:46,511 --> 00:30:48,638 and I found one. 691 00:30:48,721 --> 00:30:50,974 So it didn't exactly last the whole trip. 692 00:30:51,057 --> 00:30:53,601 Things haven't been working well for my wife and me, mikki, 693 00:30:53,685 --> 00:30:55,603 but the fact that she's flying to acapulco 694 00:30:55,687 --> 00:30:57,021 must mean she's had a change of heart. 695 00:30:57,105 --> 00:31:01,150 I've got five years of my life invested in this marriage. 696 00:31:01,234 --> 00:31:05,280 So then go protect your investment. 697 00:31:05,363 --> 00:31:06,447 Hey, look. 698 00:31:06,531 --> 00:31:07,949 This kid got herself all gorgeoused up 699 00:31:08,032 --> 00:31:12,120 and nothing is going to stop her from doing up the town. 700 00:31:12,203 --> 00:31:13,288 I'm really sorry, mikki. 701 00:31:13,371 --> 00:31:14,747 Oh, forget it. 702 00:31:14,831 --> 00:31:16,374 Hey, acapulco, here I come. 703 00:31:34,225 --> 00:31:36,060 [Knocking on door] 704 00:31:36,144 --> 00:31:37,228 Wake up, sleeping beauty. 705 00:31:37,312 --> 00:31:38,813 It's your knight in shining armor. 706 00:31:56,414 --> 00:31:58,958 What is all that stuff in front of Gail's cabin? 707 00:32:08,426 --> 00:32:11,846 Paul, look at this. 708 00:32:11,929 --> 00:32:15,683 "You're the sweetest and sexist girl in the ship. 709 00:32:15,767 --> 00:32:18,353 So you'll think of me till we're together again. 710 00:32:18,436 --> 00:32:20,355 Love, gopher." 711 00:32:20,438 --> 00:32:21,397 Paul, what are we going to do? 712 00:32:21,481 --> 00:32:24,192 You mean before or after I kill that pervert? 713 00:32:30,990 --> 00:32:31,991 [Music playing] 714 00:32:35,536 --> 00:32:37,372 All right, double sixes again. 715 00:32:37,455 --> 00:32:38,581 I don't believe it. 716 00:32:38,665 --> 00:32:39,082 You get more doubles than Pete Rose. 717 00:32:43,461 --> 00:32:44,837 Excuse me. 718 00:32:44,921 --> 00:32:47,048 Have either of you seen gopher anywhere? 719 00:32:47,131 --> 00:32:48,091 No, but if I were a betting man, 720 00:32:48,174 --> 00:32:51,386 I'd lay it 2:1 he's with the gerber girl again. 721 00:32:51,469 --> 00:32:52,470 Then it's true. 722 00:32:52,553 --> 00:32:53,429 What is? 723 00:32:53,513 --> 00:32:55,598 That he's been dating young Gail gerber. 724 00:32:55,682 --> 00:32:56,766 I just left her parents. 725 00:32:56,849 --> 00:32:57,809 They're ready to kill him. 726 00:32:57,892 --> 00:32:59,227 You mean Lillian gerber, don't you? 727 00:32:59,310 --> 00:33:00,228 Lillian? 728 00:33:00,311 --> 00:33:01,104 Who's Lillian? 729 00:33:01,187 --> 00:33:02,730 Well, that's Gail's older sister. 730 00:33:02,814 --> 00:33:04,565 Gopher has been dating her. 731 00:33:04,649 --> 00:33:07,193 Oh, so that explains it. 732 00:33:07,276 --> 00:33:09,404 This letter was intended for Lillian. 733 00:33:09,487 --> 00:33:11,239 Her parents think it was for Gail. 734 00:33:11,322 --> 00:33:11,989 Thank you, Adam. 735 00:33:12,073 --> 00:33:15,451 Thank you, Vicki. 736 00:33:15,535 --> 00:33:18,746 Doc, do you think that-- 737 00:33:18,830 --> 00:33:19,455 never mind, it's silly. 738 00:33:19,539 --> 00:33:22,709 What's silly? 739 00:33:22,792 --> 00:33:26,754 Well, you know, a lot of kids my age today are modeling. 740 00:33:26,838 --> 00:33:29,882 And with a lot of makeup and a new, different, more 741 00:33:29,966 --> 00:33:33,469 sophisticated hairstyle, 15-year-olds, or even younger, 742 00:33:33,553 --> 00:33:35,346 can turn out to look 22. 743 00:33:35,430 --> 00:33:36,639 You don't think-- 744 00:33:36,723 --> 00:33:38,599 well, have you ever seen Gail and Lillian in the same place 745 00:33:38,683 --> 00:33:39,308 at the same time. 746 00:33:39,392 --> 00:33:41,769 No. 747 00:33:41,853 --> 00:33:43,438 Come on, let's see if there's a Lillian 748 00:33:43,521 --> 00:33:44,772 gerber on the passenger list. 749 00:33:44,856 --> 00:33:47,483 If there isn't, we better find gopher and tell him. 750 00:33:47,567 --> 00:33:49,944 Right, before he's on the man overboard list. 751 00:33:58,995 --> 00:34:01,664 How did it go this afternoon, Mr. Winters? 752 00:34:01,748 --> 00:34:03,458 I got ditched again, Isaac. 753 00:34:12,258 --> 00:34:14,385 You seem to be on a streak. 754 00:34:14,469 --> 00:34:17,472 Well, at least this time, it wasn't your wife. 755 00:34:17,555 --> 00:34:19,557 Yes, it was. 756 00:34:19,640 --> 00:34:22,310 Turns out she had to fly to acapulco on business, 757 00:34:22,393 --> 00:34:23,311 so she asked me to meet her at the airport 758 00:34:23,394 --> 00:34:27,982 so we could have a talk about getting a divorce. 759 00:34:28,065 --> 00:34:29,275 Ouch, that hurts. 760 00:34:29,358 --> 00:34:33,279 Guess she figured she'd mix business with pleasure. 761 00:34:33,362 --> 00:34:34,363 Have you told mikki? 762 00:34:34,447 --> 00:34:36,032 I can't face her. 763 00:34:36,115 --> 00:34:37,533 You're right. 764 00:34:37,617 --> 00:34:39,994 If you never see her again for the rest of your life, at least 765 00:34:40,077 --> 00:34:40,953 you won't be embarrassed. 766 00:34:41,037 --> 00:34:42,538 You don't understand. 767 00:34:42,622 --> 00:34:44,540 The reason that lady is so hard on herself 768 00:34:44,624 --> 00:34:47,376 is because she's been hurt by a lot of people. 769 00:34:47,460 --> 00:34:49,754 Right now, my name's probably at the top of the list. 770 00:34:49,837 --> 00:34:52,590 She must think I'm a real creep. 771 00:34:52,673 --> 00:34:54,717 You know something? 772 00:34:54,801 --> 00:34:56,427 I think I agree with her. 773 00:34:56,511 --> 00:34:59,096 Maybe being too hard on yourself is something you two 774 00:34:59,180 --> 00:35:01,140 have in common. 775 00:35:01,224 --> 00:35:02,850 I'll get you a double Martini. 776 00:35:14,487 --> 00:35:17,615 Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Gerber, I've been looking for you. 777 00:35:17,698 --> 00:35:19,325 I have good news for you. 778 00:35:19,408 --> 00:35:20,535 The sex fiend's in jail. 779 00:35:20,618 --> 00:35:21,118 Oh, no, no. 780 00:35:21,202 --> 00:35:22,870 It was all a mistake. 781 00:35:22,954 --> 00:35:25,623 Gopher left everything at the wrong cabin. 782 00:35:25,706 --> 00:35:27,542 Well, that is good news. 783 00:35:27,625 --> 00:35:28,751 Yes. 784 00:35:28,835 --> 00:35:31,212 It was all intended for your older daughter. 785 00:35:31,295 --> 00:35:33,381 But captain, we only have one daughter. 786 00:35:39,303 --> 00:35:43,182 Uh, gopher, I have to talk to you. 787 00:35:43,266 --> 00:35:44,809 Doc, your sense of timing leaves 788 00:35:44,892 --> 00:35:45,560 a great deal to be desired. 789 00:35:45,643 --> 00:35:47,270 I'm sorry. 790 00:35:47,353 --> 00:35:48,354 This will only take a minute. 791 00:35:48,437 --> 00:35:49,063 Excuse me. 792 00:35:49,146 --> 00:35:51,983 Excuse me. 793 00:35:52,066 --> 00:35:53,568 Congratulations, Lillian. 794 00:35:53,651 --> 00:35:57,238 This is your night. 795 00:35:57,321 --> 00:35:58,072 My night. 796 00:35:58,155 --> 00:35:59,073 Sure. 797 00:35:59,156 --> 00:36:00,658 Everybody knows what happens on a second date 798 00:36:00,741 --> 00:36:02,660 with gopher Smith. 799 00:36:02,743 --> 00:36:05,204 What happens? 800 00:36:05,288 --> 00:36:06,080 What do you think? 801 00:36:06,163 --> 00:36:09,125 I mean, scented candles in his cabin, 802 00:36:09,208 --> 00:36:11,419 red light bulbs in all the lamps. 803 00:36:11,502 --> 00:36:17,008 I bet he's got those champagne cocktails already made. 804 00:36:17,091 --> 00:36:19,093 You sure are lucky. 805 00:36:19,176 --> 00:36:21,762 This will be a night you'll never forget. 806 00:36:21,846 --> 00:36:23,764 Gail, I think you and I better have a little talk. 807 00:36:23,848 --> 00:36:25,057 Don't come near me. 808 00:36:25,141 --> 00:36:28,060 I'm only 14 years old, gopher Smith, and if you touch me, 809 00:36:28,144 --> 00:36:29,395 I'm going to tell my mommy and daddy. 810 00:36:29,478 --> 00:36:29,854 And really, I'm not even 14 yet. 811 00:36:29,937 --> 00:36:31,772 I'm 13 and 3/4. 812 00:36:33,774 --> 00:36:37,111 Wait a minute. 813 00:36:37,194 --> 00:36:39,447 You called me Gail. 814 00:36:39,530 --> 00:36:43,284 You know? 815 00:36:43,284 --> 00:36:45,161 Oh, there they are, captain. 816 00:36:45,244 --> 00:36:45,870 Daddy. 817 00:36:45,953 --> 00:36:47,538 Oh, darling. 818 00:36:47,622 --> 00:36:51,083 Gail. 819 00:36:51,167 --> 00:36:53,502 Gail, what are you doing all dressed up like that? 820 00:36:53,586 --> 00:36:56,422 Just look at your hair, and all that makeup. 821 00:37:00,593 --> 00:37:02,637 I suppose this was your idea, you-- 822 00:37:02,720 --> 00:37:04,096 no, no, daddy. 823 00:37:04,180 --> 00:37:06,891 It's not his fault. I was just dressing up like a grown 824 00:37:06,974 --> 00:37:08,267 up to have some fun. 825 00:37:08,351 --> 00:37:11,729 Mr. Gerber, I had no idea. 826 00:37:11,812 --> 00:37:15,358 Young lady, I mean, little girl, 827 00:37:15,441 --> 00:37:19,362 I think it's time we had a nice, long talk. 828 00:37:19,445 --> 00:37:21,864 Well it was just pretend. 829 00:37:21,948 --> 00:37:22,907 Fine. 830 00:37:22,990 --> 00:37:24,492 When we get to the cabin, I'm going 831 00:37:24,575 --> 00:37:25,284 to give you a pretend spanking. 832 00:37:30,915 --> 00:37:33,125 I can't believe it. 833 00:37:33,209 --> 00:37:33,960 She's younger than I am. 834 00:37:34,043 --> 00:37:35,670 Don't you get any ideas. 835 00:37:35,753 --> 00:37:39,048 [Ship horn] 836 00:37:43,094 --> 00:37:44,929 Pa: We hope you enjoyed your day at port, 837 00:37:45,012 --> 00:37:45,972 but there's plenty of night ahead of you. 838 00:37:46,055 --> 00:37:47,932 We'll all be in acapulco lounge. 839 00:37:48,015 --> 00:37:52,061 Why don't you come join us? 840 00:37:52,144 --> 00:37:53,521 Larry? 841 00:37:53,604 --> 00:37:56,357 Hi. 842 00:37:56,440 --> 00:37:59,694 She dumped you, huh? 843 00:37:59,777 --> 00:38:02,279 Isaac told you? 844 00:38:02,363 --> 00:38:03,823 He didn't have to. 845 00:38:03,906 --> 00:38:05,366 Two months ago, "Cosmopolitan magazine" 846 00:38:05,449 --> 00:38:09,954 ran a quiz called how to know when you've been dumped. 847 00:38:10,037 --> 00:38:11,956 I passed with flying colors. 848 00:38:12,039 --> 00:38:14,667 Believe me, I'm an expert on the subject. 849 00:38:14,750 --> 00:38:16,711 It hurts, doesn't it? 850 00:38:19,463 --> 00:38:19,714 That it does. 851 00:38:19,797 --> 00:38:21,007 I know. 852 00:38:21,090 --> 00:38:23,551 But you'll get over it. 853 00:38:23,634 --> 00:38:26,262 I do. 854 00:38:26,345 --> 00:38:27,805 And then you go on the search for what 855 00:38:27,888 --> 00:38:29,974 "Cosmopolitan" calls the Mr. That's 856 00:38:30,057 --> 00:38:34,854 a meaningful relationship. 857 00:38:34,937 --> 00:38:37,231 And they're tough to find. 858 00:38:37,315 --> 00:38:38,649 You know why? 859 00:38:38,733 --> 00:38:43,070 Because meaningful relationships take time, and time's something 860 00:38:43,154 --> 00:38:46,741 that nobody has very much of these days. 861 00:38:46,824 --> 00:38:47,992 Right now, you're looking at a man 862 00:38:48,075 --> 00:38:48,451 with all the time in the world. 863 00:39:00,546 --> 00:39:04,759 Was that a rebound kiss or a mean it kiss? 864 00:39:11,891 --> 00:39:14,018 I retract the question, counselor. 865 00:39:29,784 --> 00:39:30,701 [Laughs] 866 00:39:31,702 --> 00:39:33,704 Well, would anyone care for another drink 867 00:39:33,788 --> 00:39:34,538 before the show starts? 868 00:39:39,668 --> 00:39:39,960 Why don't we get out of here? 869 00:39:40,044 --> 00:39:41,504 No, dear. 870 00:39:41,587 --> 00:39:42,254 We're guests. 871 00:39:42,338 --> 00:39:45,091 We can't just leave. 872 00:39:45,174 --> 00:39:45,883 I'm really looking forward to seeing this show. 873 00:39:45,966 --> 00:39:47,635 Me, too. 874 00:39:47,718 --> 00:39:48,886 Matt Heller's the greatest. 875 00:39:48,969 --> 00:39:50,888 [Applause] 876 00:39:54,475 --> 00:39:54,517 [Drumroll] 877 00:39:56,018 --> 00:39:58,312 Thank you. 878 00:39:58,395 --> 00:40:00,189 Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention? 879 00:40:00,272 --> 00:40:02,233 Tonight, the acapulco lounge is proud to present one of 880 00:40:02,316 --> 00:40:05,319 our most talented entertainers. 881 00:40:05,402 --> 00:40:07,613 Would you please welcome a favorite of all of ours, 882 00:40:07,696 --> 00:40:09,198 Mr. Matt Heller. 883 00:40:09,281 --> 00:40:10,282 [Applauses] 884 00:40:11,909 --> 00:40:13,828 Oh, thank you. 885 00:40:13,911 --> 00:40:16,080 Thank you. 886 00:40:16,163 --> 00:40:19,500 I have some great news today. 887 00:40:19,583 --> 00:40:22,169 I've been up for a dramatic role in a play that 888 00:40:22,253 --> 00:40:25,798 opens on Broadway next season and I just found out today 889 00:40:25,881 --> 00:40:27,007 I got the part. 890 00:40:27,091 --> 00:40:27,967 [Applause] 891 00:40:28,050 --> 00:40:30,010 Can you believe it? 892 00:40:30,094 --> 00:40:32,138 Matt Heller in a dramatic role, no singing, 893 00:40:32,221 --> 00:40:34,306 no dancing, no jokes. 894 00:40:34,390 --> 00:40:37,268 Well tonight, I thought i'd do a scene from the play, 895 00:40:37,351 --> 00:40:40,187 and I think I can prove to everyone, once and for all, 896 00:40:40,271 --> 00:40:45,276 that although I may be a mediocre comic, as an actor, 897 00:40:45,359 --> 00:40:48,654 I'm really bad. 898 00:40:48,737 --> 00:40:50,489 I can really use an assistant, a volunteer. 899 00:40:50,573 --> 00:40:54,118 Can I have a girl in her 20s, pretty girl. 900 00:40:54,201 --> 00:40:57,538 Gee, there's so many to choose from, but you're perfect. 901 00:40:57,621 --> 00:40:59,123 You're just-- come on, folks. 902 00:40:59,206 --> 00:41:00,207 Put your hands together and let's get 903 00:41:00,291 --> 00:41:01,792 this little girl to volunteer. 904 00:41:01,876 --> 00:41:02,793 Come on. 905 00:41:04,962 --> 00:41:07,131 Right up here. 906 00:41:07,214 --> 00:41:08,716 Don't be nervous. 907 00:41:08,799 --> 00:41:10,176 Good, good. 908 00:41:10,259 --> 00:41:12,094 Now, don't you be scared. 909 00:41:12,178 --> 00:41:15,556 You just sit right there. 910 00:41:15,639 --> 00:41:17,308 No magic here, I'm not going to cut you in half or anything. 911 00:41:17,391 --> 00:41:19,560 You just sit there and look pretty. 912 00:41:19,643 --> 00:41:23,731 The play is about a father who deserts his daughter 913 00:41:23,814 --> 00:41:25,649 when she's very young. 914 00:41:25,733 --> 00:41:29,153 Nearly 20 years later, they meet accidentally again, 915 00:41:29,236 --> 00:41:33,115 and she won't have anything to do with him. 916 00:41:33,199 --> 00:41:36,994 She writes him a letter, pouring out her heart. 917 00:41:37,077 --> 00:41:40,039 And this is the final scene in the play, 918 00:41:40,122 --> 00:41:40,706 where he confronts her. 919 00:41:45,920 --> 00:41:48,255 I got your letter. 920 00:41:48,339 --> 00:41:53,052 I never realized there could be that much hatred in a person. 921 00:41:53,135 --> 00:41:56,180 Didn't come here to try and change your mind about me. 922 00:41:56,263 --> 00:42:00,309 You've had this hurt inside of you too long for me to do that. 923 00:42:00,392 --> 00:42:04,480 When you were a little girl, it seemed that you were just one 924 00:42:04,563 --> 00:42:07,900 big bunch of questions, and I was the one you 925 00:42:07,983 --> 00:42:11,987 always came to for the answers. 926 00:42:12,071 --> 00:42:17,618 Now, you're all grown up, beautiful and wise, 927 00:42:17,701 --> 00:42:20,621 and you seem to have all the answers. 928 00:42:20,704 --> 00:42:22,289 But it's strange, isn't it? 929 00:42:22,373 --> 00:42:25,668 Now I'm the one with the questions. 930 00:42:25,751 --> 00:42:30,589 Do I tell you why I really left? 931 00:42:30,673 --> 00:42:33,842 Would you understand? 932 00:42:33,926 --> 00:42:37,096 The most important question of all, 933 00:42:37,179 --> 00:42:40,474 am I too late with the answers? 934 00:42:40,557 --> 00:42:41,308 I hope not. 935 00:42:44,395 --> 00:42:47,648 When your mother first told me she was pregnant, 936 00:42:47,731 --> 00:42:51,443 I asked her to marry me. 937 00:42:51,527 --> 00:42:55,114 I knew she didn't love me, not the way I loved her, 938 00:42:55,197 --> 00:42:56,865 but it didn't matter to me. 939 00:42:56,949 --> 00:43:03,163 It mattered even less that I wasn't the father. 940 00:43:03,247 --> 00:43:04,707 So we married. 941 00:43:06,625 --> 00:43:12,923 When you were born, I felt as if all 942 00:43:13,007 --> 00:43:14,758 the joy and happiness in the world 943 00:43:14,842 --> 00:43:19,305 was suddenly poured into my heart. 944 00:43:19,388 --> 00:43:21,932 I became such a bore with my pictures 945 00:43:22,016 --> 00:43:27,021 and stories of my little girl. 946 00:43:27,104 --> 00:43:32,526 And one day, your mother came to me and we talked. 947 00:43:32,609 --> 00:43:34,820 We talked a long time. 948 00:43:38,240 --> 00:43:42,953 I never, never wanted to leave you and your mother. 949 00:43:43,037 --> 00:43:44,288 It was her idea. 950 00:43:46,957 --> 00:43:53,213 I don't remember all the reasons she gave, but in a few days, 951 00:43:53,297 --> 00:43:54,006 I left. 952 00:43:57,426 --> 00:44:01,138 You were asleep the night I went away. 953 00:44:01,221 --> 00:44:06,018 So I never really got a chance to say good bye. 954 00:44:06,101 --> 00:44:07,895 That's why I'm here now. 955 00:44:07,978 --> 00:44:12,900 I don't want to leave you again, not without saying good bye. 956 00:44:16,111 --> 00:44:17,613 So good bye, my love. 957 00:44:20,699 --> 00:44:24,787 I love you now even more than I loved you then. 958 00:44:42,137 --> 00:44:44,807 [Applause] 959 00:44:51,939 --> 00:44:54,608 Beth, darling. 960 00:44:54,692 --> 00:44:56,235 Why, mother? 961 00:44:56,318 --> 00:44:57,694 Why? 962 00:44:57,778 --> 00:45:04,118 I-- I didn't want you to know that I wasn't married 963 00:45:04,201 --> 00:45:06,912 when you were conceived. 964 00:45:06,995 --> 00:45:09,373 And your real father was a man you never met, 965 00:45:09,456 --> 00:45:11,166 a man I hardly knew myself. 966 00:45:14,044 --> 00:45:18,674 I didn't want you to think that I was a lesser person. 967 00:45:18,757 --> 00:45:24,763 Oh, I could never think of you like that. 968 00:45:24,847 --> 00:45:29,143 To me, you'll always be beautiful, inside and out. 969 00:45:33,689 --> 00:45:38,569 It just seemed the right thing to do at the time, 970 00:45:38,652 --> 00:45:41,530 but so foolish. 971 00:45:41,613 --> 00:45:43,157 I've been the foolish one. 972 00:45:43,240 --> 00:45:45,200 I've been so cruel to Matt. 973 00:45:47,995 --> 00:45:50,038 Did he really love me as much as he said? 974 00:45:50,122 --> 00:45:50,998 Yes. 975 00:45:51,081 --> 00:45:52,249 To him, you were his daughter. 976 00:45:52,332 --> 00:45:55,544 I've never known anyone with the capacity to love like that. 977 00:45:55,627 --> 00:45:59,631 I think that's what frightened me. 978 00:45:59,715 --> 00:46:02,426 He loved so completely. 979 00:46:05,471 --> 00:46:05,888 I guess we've both been foolish. 980 00:46:11,894 --> 00:46:13,812 Beth, i-- 981 00:46:13,896 --> 00:46:14,396 daddy. 982 00:46:14,480 --> 00:46:17,191 She called me daddy. 983 00:46:30,704 --> 00:46:33,081 [Music playing] 984 00:46:42,633 --> 00:46:44,551 Oh, Mr. Winters. 985 00:46:44,635 --> 00:46:46,845 What a difference a day made. 986 00:46:46,929 --> 00:46:47,846 Yeah, right, Isaac. 987 00:46:47,930 --> 00:46:50,807 Only in this case, it was a night. 988 00:46:50,891 --> 00:46:52,559 What would your magazine say about him. 989 00:46:52,643 --> 00:46:55,854 Q and d, quality and distinction? 990 00:46:55,938 --> 00:46:56,772 I don't care what they say. 991 00:46:56,855 --> 00:47:00,359 I think he's fancy, cute, and cuddly. 992 00:47:00,442 --> 00:47:02,653 We'll see you later. 993 00:47:02,736 --> 00:47:03,403 Bye bye. 994 00:47:03,487 --> 00:47:04,363 So long. 995 00:47:04,446 --> 00:47:06,490 Thanks for sailing with us. 996 00:47:06,573 --> 00:47:07,574 Good bye. 997 00:47:07,658 --> 00:47:10,244 Oh, that was some performance last night, Matt. 998 00:47:10,327 --> 00:47:11,912 Yeah well, thanks, doc. 999 00:47:11,995 --> 00:47:13,413 And thank you, captain, for supplying 1000 00:47:13,497 --> 00:47:15,707 just the right audience. 1001 00:47:15,791 --> 00:47:19,419 Beth and I should be doing the thank you, captain. 1002 00:47:19,503 --> 00:47:20,254 Absolutely. 1003 00:47:20,337 --> 00:47:22,005 Well, I'm just glad the show turned 1004 00:47:22,089 --> 00:47:24,841 out so well for all of you. 1005 00:47:24,925 --> 00:47:26,718 We liked the show so much we decided to take 1006 00:47:26,802 --> 00:47:28,929 the star home with us for good. 1007 00:47:29,012 --> 00:47:32,391 Well, that's a curtain line if I ever heard one. 1008 00:47:32,474 --> 00:47:33,100 Good bye. 1009 00:47:33,183 --> 00:47:33,934 Bye bye. 1010 00:47:39,356 --> 00:47:41,275 Captain, I've had a long talk with Gail 1011 00:47:41,358 --> 00:47:44,903 and she won't be pulling any stunts like that anymore. 1012 00:47:44,987 --> 00:47:46,154 I'm sorry for causing you any trouble. 1013 00:47:46,238 --> 00:47:48,448 No problem. 1014 00:47:48,532 --> 00:47:50,284 And Vicki, thanks so much for being 1015 00:47:50,367 --> 00:47:51,910 such a good friend to Gail. 1016 00:47:51,994 --> 00:47:52,661 No problem. 1017 00:47:52,744 --> 00:47:53,620 And gopher, i-- 1018 00:47:53,704 --> 00:47:55,372 no problem. 1019 00:47:55,455 --> 00:47:55,956 Come on, dear. 1020 00:47:56,039 --> 00:47:56,331 Good bye, everybody. 1021 00:47:56,415 --> 00:47:56,957 Bye bye. 1022 00:48:06,592 --> 00:48:07,718 Now that's a problem. 1023 00:48:19,229 --> 00:48:22,024 [Music playing]